Panhandlers Unite!  The  Webpage for Panhandlers ....by Panhandlers

Classifieds

For Sale

BOOTS $60--New. Black leather. Found near or on old man.  806-435-0876.  Ask for Righty.

Lobster bib $4--New, never used.  Smells like chowder.  Got it from my "friend".  Harry: 605-483-2233.

Yield Sign $23.99--Tired of seeing people pass by it without a care in the world.  Call GooGoo 708-448-2345.  My brother will deliver it if you live in Newfoundland.

Cell phone $5--blue, has a few buttons missing, and might drip water (tried to get it all, but there's still some in there).  Jim at  6th and Everton Ave.  Just pull up, I'll be there.

Dog skull, $50 OBO--couldn't help it, no one was giving me any money and I was hungry.  Ask for Alice at the Halsey St. and I-84 exit ramp in Portland.

Car $10 OBO--'84 Pontiac LeMans.  Doesn't run, make good bed/ urinal .  Got to get my blanket out of there first. Jack, 806-677-0878. Bring a gun.

Wanted

Needed--Man to hold cardboard sign.  50/50 split D.O.E.  Must have at leat 5 yrs. exp w/cust. srv. and  windshield cleaners. Contact Fat Don at 5th and Holland Sts. Just don't mention the war around me.

Needed--new street to work--mine's wore out.  Gaptooth Gayle in S. Auburn.  Just yell.

Needed--some food.  Frank.  Dugout at the St. Joe's baseball field in Tucson.

A shovel and good alibi--pronto.  Bill. West Akins Blvd. Indiana, PA.

Business Opportunities

Turnkey Monkey/ Organ grinder business.  $40/ month.  Monkey's name is 'Dubya', and I'll throw some diapers in for free. Ask for Shifty.  To find me, go to Barret Ave. in  Phoenix and just follow the screams.

$$$$$SELL HOT DOGS TO DRUNKS!!  CASH$$$$ Hand over Leg Profits!!!$$$$$  BARBARA @ 609-384-2603 $$$$!!!!!!!